Dear, Mr Dastagir,
I am writing to you to try and stop this serious problem we have in our school, banter. Many people are hurt by that awful word. Friends use this as an excuse, to solve the case of a hurtful comment to others. Many more say “its just banter” after an inappropriate comment but carry on and sometimes causes fights.
There are a lot of examples of banter and those are just a few, staff and teachers need to tackle this situation that isn’t just a dilemma in schools, but all around the globe. Sometimes your messing around with your friends having a joke but once you include your parents or any racism, then it’s not a joke any more, they think it’s a bit funny, but it will end badly.
There was an assembly about banter not long ago, but that didn’t change anything at all. Banter is still a tragic problem that may be difficult to conquer. When I pass through the corridors of this school I see fighting, rudeness and people mocking others. This needs to stop, it causes havoc all.around the halls of the school and may disturb other classes that are trying to study and learn .
This is not safe as running around the school is dangerous and there could be many accidents throughout school, and that is why many students have recently been going to the basement.Only for minor injuries and other pupils are suffering more so it stops the staff helping others in need.
The kind of children which are always mucking about in the corridors, when there are visitors are setting a bad example on the school and ruining its reputation as one of the greatest schools in London. So after the London Nautical school has delt with the school will be much better and not much more problems will be caused like fights and arguments, enemies and many other dilemas caused by just banter.
This is why I really want banta out of this school, because I too, have been affected by banter and I dont want that to happen anymore. I hope this letter will en-lighten others to stop bullying or using “banta” as an excuse for many things you would normally get in trouble for.
After offending someone quite badly,I think its better to say sorry than saying “its just banter” to improve your relationship with the victim and become friends.
This letter will definetly not stop bullying or “banta” but it could be a message for others to improve their behaviour.
Iam now reaching the end of my letter.
I hope the best of this School and I hope soon banter will leave this school and never come back. I also wish you read this and simply try the best you can to stop banter in LNS.
If you could possibly make it one of the top rules not to use banter. And give suviere punishments to anyone who violates the rule. For example a red card. Anyway that is all and hopefully you think about the consequences of banter
Your sincerely, John Duque?
April 14, 2015 at 8:30 am
I can see that you have taken in lots of ideas from our discussions in class. Your tone is generally clear and confident, informing the Headmaster of a problem that you have perceived and explaining your point of view.
Keep it up!
Targets
1) Vary your vocabulary – how often have you used the word ‘joke’ what could you use instead?
2) Consider using a colon in you first sentence – where would it go?
3) Aim to re-draft at least one paragraph in order to achieve the Perfect Paragraph badge
http://achieve.community.edutronic.net/stage-one-writing/perfect-paragraph/
How will you meet this criteria?
4) You are considerably under your word limit – write a plan to help develop your ideas and structure – mindmaps help me. Ask if you would like a hand.
April 15, 2015 at 9:34 pm
Yes sir
April 15, 2015 at 11:14 pm
This is (slowly) showing some more progress. You are at 172 words – your minimum word limit to achieve the Transactional Writing badge is 500 words.
Aim to re-draft at least one paragraph in order to achieve the Perfect Paragraph badge
http://achieve.community.edutronic.net/stage-one-writing/perfect-paragraph/
How will you meet this criteria?
May 11, 2015 at 3:58 pm
This is much closer to your minimum word limit – you have just about 100 words to go!
Paragraph Three – Perfect Paragraph achieved!
Targets
1) Re-read and edit your first paragraph – how could your meaning be made clearer? Where are there words missing?
2) Always re-read and edit sentence length – where are your sentences too long? How will you amend this?
See me if you would like some help with this?
June 15, 2015 at 3:17 pm
Please check that your spelling of banter is consistent throughout this letter.
Finally, please check your use f prepositions – have you used the correct one and does this make your meaning clear?